hahah, i was distracted by many things and since i couldnt focus on my work (or research work), i might as well use this time to update my (almost forgotten) blog!
despite a happy starting sentence, i would say that i'm pretty emo these days! really! very emo! hahaha
yet at the same time, i cant help but to laugh at my silly stubbornness~ if you dont let go those negative thinkings, you wont receive inner peace even if you think you have let it go, you must genuinely let it go to give your brain, heart and perhaps soul an overdue vacation.
it is hard! very! why is it so hard?! tell me why?!
i think the real reason is, (hahahahah, warning alert! im pushing blame on others) i'm constantly surrounded by high IQ and EQ people which means im soooo soooo inferior as compared to them. heheh MUST BE!
haiz... need to self reflect more, otherwise, such a profound conclusion cannot be reached (*nodding randomly). hahahha
apart from being stupiak and all, i would say, i am pretty proud about myself! ahahah to have survived so many emo days, and probably many to come until graduation, with a smile to brush off all the heavy emotional burdens away from my shoulders. it wasnt all that easy, but i managed to sort them out day by day with little therapeutic steps which ive created. i truly wishes that things could turn out well, in fact, i always have this little wish on my little mind that one day, i could reminisce my decisions made in life, be it big or small. surely, this sounds so silly but to me, it is more like a pinky promise to myself.
anyway, i hope bad things will eventually find their way out, so that i can concentrate all my energy into developing happy memories. hehehe
mmwmmm, even on days which i am supposed to dedicate time for work, i chose to idle around.. i must be bichesoyo! hahah so many research articles to read, it makes me wonder a lot. of cuz, it is not to say all these reading materials are unnecessarily, in contrast, they not only enhance my reading ability but also understanding towards the topic; eventually i could integrate all the information and crystallise them into my theory. being able to do that requires a lot of patience (which i am lacking apparently), as well as interest. once you lose that curiosity spark, the path to elucidate knowledge could be severely compromised. not to say that without interest you couldnt produce an A+ work, passion dies, and every min spent on the work leeches you more. somehow, the previous sentence doesnt really coincide with my mind because, if i could produce A+ result with less effort, regardless how much interest invested on it, my mood status would immediately switch to green (healthy and happy). wahahaha blahhh blahhh
wahahha, after typing so many rubbish, i just realised i am such a nerd! omg... could i be humanised?!
in order to do that, i must throw away all my academic stuffs and allow people to be informed about what is occupying in my head 80% of the time. and yes! probably it is obvious but i wanna say ~~~ BIGBANG BIGBANG WOOOHOOOOWOOHOOOO F1 GOT YOU HERE IN SINGAPORE! WHEEEE~~~ I AM SO FORTUNATE TO LIVE IN AN INTERNET ERA! HOW I WISHED I COULD BE THERE LIVE! TO INDULGE IN THE ATMOSPHERE AND GET HIGH WITH EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAD ATTENDED! DESPITE THAT SMALL REGRET, I AM THANKFUL FOR ALL THOSE UPLOADERS OUT THERE WHO POSTED THE VIDS ON YOUTUBE, SO THAT FANS WHO MISSED THEIR ACTIONS COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO WITNESS THEIR INTERNATIONAL INFLUENCE~ TRULY KPOP KINGS~ PRICELESS PERFORMANCES! THEY HAVE WORKED HARD TO COMPLETE SUCH AN IMPACT SHOW YESTERDAY NIGHT!
CANT HELP BUT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM ALL OVER AGAIN! IT IS INSANE AND CRAZY! HAHAHA... BIGBANG IS SPECIAL. <3
THINKING BACK, I HAVE KNOWN THIS BAND FOR SO MANY YEARS BUT I NEVER PAY MUCH ATTENTION TO THEM AND THE FUNNY THING IS, INITIALLY, I THOUGHT TAEYANG WAS THE LEADER HAHHAHA... AT THAT TIME (WHICH I CANT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHICH YEAR WAS IT), EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT TAEYANG'S WEDDING DRESS SONG, THUS I JUST FOLLOWED SUIT AND LISTENED TO SEVERAL SONGS SUNG BY INDIVIDUAL BIGBANG MEMBERS. DONT ASK ME WHY I DIDNT LISTEN TO BIGBANG'S SONGS AS A GROUP BACK THEN, I CANT RMB BUT I WASNT THAT INTO THEM (INDIVIDUALLY BACK THEN). SUBSEQUENTLY, (I THINK IT WAS DURING LAST TERM'S 3 MONTHS BREAK? MMM LIKE JULY? I WAS RANDOMLY WATCHING TV PROG ON MIO TV, I HEARD A SONG FROM BB AND THE REST WAS HISTORY. THE SONG HAS DRAMATICALLY TRANSFORMED ME INTO A BB FAN, WHILE NOT SO HARDCORE YET, IT WAS THE TURNING PT WHERE I COME TO REALIZE THAT I MUST KNOW BB MORE! THE CATCH IS HERE, THE MORE I KNOW ABOUT THEM, THE MORE I BECOME IRRESISTIBLY DRAWN TO THEM AND SINCE THEN I'VE PLEDGE MY LOYALTY. UNBELIEVABLE I KNOW. I AM SHOCKED BY MYSELF TOO. I MEAN IDOLS COME AND GO, NO BIG DEAL. AND YEA, SOME ARE REALLY TALENTED AND SO ON, BUT YOU MOVED ON. SOME ARE REALLY SPECIAL, BUT THEY JUST QUIETLY HOLD A SPECIAL PLACE NOTHING OF ANY SORT COME CLOSE EVER SINCE I COME ACROSS BB. IN MY HEAD, THEY DOMINATE AND TRIUMPH OVER EVERYTHING ELSE. WELL, ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT PUT THEIR PICTURE ON MY PILLOW CASING (HAHAHAH), MY LOVE FOR THEIR MUSIC REMAINS STURDY AND UNDYING.
<3 CREATIVE G-DRAGON, SEXY TOP, ANGELIC DAESUNG, TALENTED TAEYANG AKA YOUNGBAE, AND MISCHIEVOUS SEUNGRI CONSTITUTE MY UNIQUE BIGBANG!
HAHAH AND BEFORE YOU ARE STARTING TO WONDER WHEN WOULD I REVEAL WHICH MAGICAL SONG CHANGED MY ENTIRE PERCEPTION ON BB, OR RATHER KPOP, (MAYBE NO ONE IS INTERESTED TO KNOW BUT I WILL STILL REVEAL ON THE BEHALF OF MY THICK SKIN), THAT REVOLUTIONARY SONG IS ~~ BLUE (I'M SINGING MY BLUES~) HAHAH RINGS A BELL? THAT IS MY WECHAT AND WHATSAPP STATUS LIKE DUD ALL THE TIME... HEHEHEHE... YES, THIS WAS THE SONG WHICH CAUSED ME TO BE TRAPPED INTO THEIR AWESOMENESS AND I WONDERED, HOW DID EVERYTHING HAPPENED SO FAST AND FURIOUS. BECAUSE BY THE TIME I REALISED ... I HAVE BEEN WATCHING EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM ON YOUTUBE SUBCONSCIOUSLY... LIKE A VIRUS WHICH INVADES MY BODY, MY BRAIN, MY HEART WITHOUT ANY EFFORT, IT GRADUALLY PROPAGATES EXPONENTIALLY WITHOUT MY PERMISSION INSIDE MY BODY AND TRAVEL AROUND WITHOUT A PASSPORT UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE FOR TREATMENT; NOW IT IS BEYOND ANY CURE. BAM! I'M TRAPPED. > VIP ROCKS <
TO ALL THE VIPs, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS <3
ALRIGHT, ENOUGH OF ME BEING SUCH A GIRLY FAN GIRL, SARANG HAE YO BIGBANG.
GOODNIGHT, TONIGHT I WILL BE YOUR ALIVE BLUE MONSTER, NO LIES NEEDED CUZ YOU DONT DESERVE A STUPID LIAR, THIS WILL NOT BE OUR LAST FAREWELL, NEVER TELL ME GOODBYE, DEEP WITHIN YOU ARE OUR FANTASTIC BABY AND SO HANDS UP MY NUMBER 1!
LOVE,
P
