i just want to lead a simple life? why must you hinder me?!

Tại sao tôi buồn?
không ai sẽ hiểu, nhưng tôi thực sự biết lý do

Ive ask this question many times, god, why must you do this to me even though im sure you did it for a reason. However, regardless how this reason may be, it hurts when im caught off-guarded. Should i be punished for defying your wishes? But I dont know your wishes; i just want to feel certain things at my own pace even if it may not be the best or ideal for me, in fact i was merely setting my foot on something which comforts me during situations which tense me up.
God, where are you when i needed you the most, when i thought youve heard my sorrows and when i thought i was one step closer to you... you put me as secondary... have i disgrace anyone?

At the end of day, i think and will know this absolutely without a doubt - i love you dad :')
He was the one who stood by me when i thought my world has go against me
there are so many things i want to share or want to be heard of but i know it wouldnt be fair for the listener because why burden them when certain things would never cross their lives? Yet, carrying so many secrets on my frail shoulders over the past few years had slowly betrayed my trust; i could no longer trust myself. At best, i comfort myself - its ok, things happened for a purpose and god has his arrangement but would this comforting words sustain me? I dunno.. ive lost control, and the only thing i could do was hiding behind the computer; panicking about the next step about myself. I dont want to be pessimistic, i hate it. i seriously hate it when i cant get over things... too much price for me to pay ...
Friends come and go,and if im lucky, those who can tolerate me stay while even so, why is there this un-explainable sadness engulfing me, creeping into every empty corner of my heart, leeching away all my happiness and tingling my calm mind?

Is there a way to eliminate all err and restart myself?
eerrr... can i be saved? or could my happy soul be resurrected?

Santa, where's my presentttt? ive been good for .... awhile... x.x

oh man, im so so depressed right now to realise the impossibility of continuing thai 3 next sem~

Well, my friends have been telling me to start with timetable planning since last 2 weeks (i think) but i thought, how difficult would it be.... which is why, after much delays i took my time, browsing through potential modules... and tada! im screwed big time! THE ONLY CORE MODULE CRASHES WITH THAI 3.... OH NO~~~~ (big bang effect at the back please)

After so much anxiety and anticipation for my thai language comeback, i'm officially stuck at the stage where my homeless language-thirsty soul refused to accept what reality has specially prepared for me ... it was totally unexpected.

So ... is this like a hint to me to take viet 2? i dunno.. im no longer able to judge accurately anymore... i could only do two more lvl 1000 modules, perhaps that's y im panicking. Haiyo, haiya... i'm stress...

Dear Santa, please dont punish me for slacking by depriving me of my lang craze. Why am I (always) landing myself in such a awkward situation again... haiyoeyo... lol

who knows?

to be honest ...
i had fun today
to be honest
i was sad however i'll never give up! that's the attitude :) i've chosen a special path, and i know i need to persevere and work doubly hard so as to stay faithful to my decision. It has been a wonderful week.
thank you




because i know i can depend on myself, so i have to be strong, stay strong and remain absolutely courageous

love ya all


forever p,
p

Not another ranting post?

yea! finally its december :) and do you know what it means? hehhe anyway, speaking of holiday, i believe there wouldnt be much celebration for me because... i took up urops tada~ yup, you didnt read it wrongly - i took up urops. but how is this gonna affect my holiday? well, the fact is, it would affect much LOLOL and that is because ive an awesome mentor! im kinda glad that the proj which im doing seems to me that i'll be working with a bunch of highly intelligent, yet at the same time, kind-hearted people. while it may be difficult to adapt to unfamiliar places or situations, as of now, so far so good. and yup, i shouldnt be complaining anymore, in fact if i complain more, i'll go hell. may december be with me :) Peace out, P