Courage

Please come true :)

had been feeling quite down recently, but nevertheless i can overcome everything in no time!

if time permits, what would i do?


ahahaha

khit thung khray?

When i think about it, i really think that it was very funny.

When i know that i have an influence to control the situation, i know ive nailed it. 

Just because 我疼你 doesn't give you the american express card to override me. Just because, i didnt scold you doesnt mean my silence represents a green light for your rude nonsense. And just because you think you have good terms with me doesnt signify that you will always nail me in every argument. Well, just because i dun refute your silliness doesnt show that you're always winning. Just because i want you to feel good about yourself doesnt always equal to me watching you magnifying your pathetic ego; so fragile, i want to crush it instantly but (fortunately) was stopped by my maturity. 

And if you really think you are some big shot IN FRONT of me... i think seriously, you are too green.  

Who do you want to impress? Me? Grow up please.

Sometimes, when i look at you, i'll feel disgusted by the things i have allowed you to disregard. Manners. You were special to me, even if you are such an incorrigible, uncouth and proud person, i cannot deny that i cannot cut that loose strings between us. 

Because i owe it to you

With that mindset, i told myself to put up will all your nonsense. but hey, i'm a human. i have a limit to what i can allow a person to treat me like a pushover. 

And when you told me that you were remorse about it.... you know that i'll forgive you. you always use that tactic... no one can empathize me, because i deeply know that i owe it to you. 

有谁没有年轻过？就因为，太年轻才会以为我可以一直很女王下去。

我的霸道，我的野蛮我的一切，或许在莫个程度上展现的很愚昧、很self-centered 但是，我错了。我也不知不觉长大了。

Thinking back, i'm such a fool. this mid-Autumn festival, let us bury everything and start afresh. 

Fortunately, you know how to apologize... or rather thankfully, u also have high regards for me otherwise you wouldnt care right? and for this, let just say, i need so time to cool down and rethink about my own actions. Although i clearly knows that, even if the clock turns back to Z, i will not hesitate to shoot your ridiculous ego down and step a few more times to appease that *volcano* which had erupted. 

On the other hand, i do regret and hope that the time can rewind to 2X.... but how differently would i do given my knowledge and intelligence back then?

With so many what ifs.. 

I conclude, dont expect that the world will revolve for you and around you. Stay happy ba... x) 

No more no more... move on move on.

yuan yuan xiang bao he shi liao...

peace,

P

ps: im surprised to have found out that ive drafts which i hv no idea when did i typed those things... and under what type of circumstances...  

crap... wasted another day on youtube

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I'm a little bit sad, a little bit discouraged and a little be startled... I hope it is normal.

Feeling wasted and deserted ever since ever since ... one good thing would probably be, recess week is ending, i have less time to dwell on things which are poorly perceived.

Whether it will eventually turns out okay, i have no clue, 0 confidence although statistically they are socially significant.

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当朋友远离，梦想也不知去了什么地方，而一些最美好的回忆也成了现实 的最大对比，郁闷之情立马涌上心头，哭都没有了力气，好累，真的好累，只想散散心。

After all, i'm just a mere human, with heart, with blood + emotion. Cross fingers, i hope i'm not suffering from a panic attack, because it i do, it would be too great for me to handle.
And even.. if i my energy has been drained, i do pray to let go these emotion gracefully just like how apoptosis works. No inflammation - present itself as a considerate neighbours by not making a wooha about its departure and ultimately, degrade quietly in a corner without anyone noticing. how beautiful right? however, the process is programmed, hence to even getting close to such a prefect degradation, it must  undergo several strict regulated events. Now, we are talking about human... and human are not programmed to handle all grief well...ใช่ไหม?   or are we?
Referring back to apoptosis, even apoptosis is given 2 options - whether the degradation should proceed intrinsically (via mitochondria dependent pathway where cyto c are released into the cytoplasm, attached to apaf1, formation of apoptosome, activiation casp 9, sunsequently casp 3 to death) or extrinsically (recognized by death receptor, mainly dancing with the activation of casp 8 and die). and so, what can you infer from this?

Below is one song which i want to recommend :) but no eng sub... ;p   cring sia cay! and the song reminds me of fang da tong, chan may ruu thammay. Close your eyes and listen to it, and you probably could feel the turbulence within~ pit eyes l3 fang chachaa x)


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